Covering the bases

Okay, don’t ask me why I randomly feel like updating this right now, after I haven’t written in here since June. But for some reason I navigated here and I feel like writing in it. We’ll see how long this lasts. I don’t even know if anyone will read this… I bet if I type Barack Obama in my post, someone will read it simply because they’ll do a search for posts containing the words Barack Obama and randomly click on mine. If this is you, you are not here by accident.

Let’s see if I can find a way to cover all the ground I’ve traversed across since June when I wrote about getting baptized. I had an amazing summer. Purely amazing. Totally getting to relax, enjoy summer in Seattle, enjoy friends. I went on a backpacking trip with my dad into the North Cascades and camped at a beautiful lake for three days. I led a worship band at an event in West Seattle called “Expectancy,” where Jesus showed up and touched the hearts of many, letting them know that his presence is real. I got to read a lot, learn a lot. My good friend and older brother Joe Arrants hired me to record some of his songs, which turned out to be some of the best work I think I’ve done so far. I got addicted to 24, and watching it gave me a desire to live a life filled with more adventure than I know.

I flew back to Nashville a couple weeks early to attend Harvest Institute, a week-long retreat sort of thing that really fueled my passion for Jesus and to bring his kingdom. I had some of the most emotionally intense worship times I’ve ever had, making a fool of myself and dancing in the front of the sanctuary like a crazy man. I learned some invaluable things about apologetics, devotion, intimacy with God, evangelism, and the like. One of the sessions was about prophecy, and a pastor prayed for me and prophesied an end to my feelings of loneliness and feeling like I don’t fit in. After the week was over, I felt like I knew every single person at the retreat and they all knew me, and we meant the world to each other.

After that week, I rode Greyhound to Chattanooga, where I met up with Amy and traveled the rest of the way with her to her home in Dalton, GA, where I spent the last week of summer, which happened to be the week I turned 19. It also happened to be the week I decided that I couldn’t live without each her. So, now her and I are here in Nashville, living life together and liking each other a lot. I only use the words “girlfriend” and “dating” in conversation because that’s unfortunately the only way to efficiently communicate the gist of what’s going on between us. But we’re really much more of best friends that see no reason not to look forward to the possibility of spending life together.

Last semester was filled with opportunities to be a “Jack Bauer” of the kingdom of God. They consisted of talking to homeless people, praying for people to receive the Holy Spirit, interceding for people, helping people with homework and showing them love, prophesying to people and speaking encouragement. After reading A.W. Tozer’s The Pursuit of God, I’ve learned that contrary to most people’s paradigms, there should be no distinction between the “religious life” and the “secular life.” In the last chapter of the book, Tozer talks about how wonderful of a thing it is when we realize that our pursuit of God’s heart is not limited to our church attendance or our prayer and Bible reading. Rather, it’s a lifelong pursuit, and no area of my life is exempt from the possibility of God entering into it and filling it with life. What an awesome realization it was when I found that my seeking of God does not stop when I leave my bedroom in the morning and set foot into the world–no, no; it has just begun.

I learned that I often let my emotions dictate my life for me, and not my will. I found this out when a friend asked me to play drums at a recording session he had that night, and I blindly told him yes without even thinking about it. I thought about this and thought it very peculiar that I have so much trouble making decisions about how I want to spend my time, but others can make them for me no sweat. So, in light of the knowledge that words have power, I decided to speak my decisions to me for a while until I regained back the power to make them in my mind.

I also learned that I live in the future and the past way too much, and not enough in the present. The present is the most like eternity. We perceive eternity as infinitely big, while the present, if you think about it, is infinitely small, meaning that there’s no possible way you can be 100% purely in the present any more than you can be 100% purely in eternity. The present is where LIFE is experienced. It’s where memories are made. It’s where life MEANS something. It’s where the love of God is felt and not just understood. Oh, it’s so important to live in the present.

I’m going to be brave and announce this to the internet world. Over break, I dumped my addiction to lust, masturbation, and pornography. Ditched it. Lost it. Killed it. It’s gone. All gone. Yes, I had an addiction. The only way I came to admitting this is by starving myself of the stuff long enough to the point where I didn’t crave it anymore. For all you reading this who are trapped in this prison of false beauty and false fulfillment, let me tell you the truth about it. IT RUINS YOUR LIFE. It cheapens everything, it destroys your future, it makes you a slave to itself. And if you want to argue with me about the nature of this material, I’m all for it, but let me warn you, I have experienced the following three things: 1) being trapped by it and enjoying it, 2) being trapped by it and hating it, 3) being freed from it. I think you can guess which one I KNOW is the most fulfilling. The only reason you don’t want to believe that pornography is a prison is because you are addicted to it. YOU CAN GET OUT!!! I’ve dealt with the stuff since before middle school. I’ve gone through seasons of being freed from the stuff, and then falling back into it. I went through so many of those cycles that I started to believe it would never end, because each time I would be so brave as to say, “I’m never going to a porn site again!” three days later I’d mess up. I know what hopelessness feels like. And now I know what FREEDOM feels like! Freedom is BETTER. And I have dedicated my life to helping men just like me escape from the snares of sin, especially sexual sin, and regain their freedom! That means if you know you need freedom, regardless of whether you feel like getting it or not, you need to call me or email me or facebook me or something. Because I live to free people like you.

With that huge heavy load off, I have had a great start of the second semester of my sophomore year. I get to take a writing class with Amy, which is great so far! I’m playing drums in a rock/funk band with some really talented musicians from school. I get to record a song I wrote in Ocean Way Studio A on Music Row this Saturday. I’m so excited. Last year I recorded two songs I wrote with the help of my amazing roommate and engineer, Jason Piland. Jason has an incredible knowledge of recording technology and a great musical sense. He would make a dang good producer someday if he didn’t just decide to switch career paths and pursue law and politics.

The future looks bright. I get to go on tour with Jazzmin again, this time to Dallas, Austin, and Little Rock. I am taking a Music Technology course this semester which is AWESOME so far. Today we learned the ins and outs of MIDI data, and how MIDI messages are constructed and sent… geek stuff I know, but hey you know me. I get to use some really expensive school equipment this semester for my own maniacally musical schemes.

My focus this semester is not on trying to figure my life out or figure out its meaning, but rather to surrender my mind to the Spirit, let him guide my paths and show me the way of life. My part is just to show up and live, and desire to know him better. If I try to make my life exciting, it gets really one-dimensional really fast. If I follow the Spirit’s leading, I find that every day of my life is an adventure, I’m less stressed out and worried about everything, I feel more loved and more valued, and I have more life and love to give away to the people around me. I love Jesus.

~ by soundsmith668 on January 23, 2009.